With the end of the year around the corner, I feel the need to really look back and dig into whether or not the non-profit world is for me.
I’m tired but, it’s a good kind of tired. I’m satisfied only because I really believe my work is touching people’s lives.
I feel only content, I am not sure that is enough to really quiet my hunger.
These past few months have been an incredible ride through film sets, battling hives of bees on a video set, dusting my old lighting skills and putting them to the test, watching as people’s spoken skills came to life before my eyes and produced more than amazing realities.
I feel perhaps I will follow this strange road to success, networking through odd jobs and picking up shows pro-bono to really indulge in my lost days behind the scenes.
The path into medicine seems to be a passion I felt for the adrenaline, the rush, the thrill of seeing work done in strange environments and the joy in learning new skills that can be utilized in more ways than just a job.
The time spent talking to other medics around the community has shed a new light on this fire; hours spent living away from home, the seconds spent fighting to win over the weight of death, minutes lost in limbo to spinning lights and sirens. Never remembering a patients name, only remembering them because of their incident, the way you touch these peoples lives and that’s all they become just another person. Some lady you saw in the street. A passerby.
I need to feel closer to the people I touch, perhaps, saving their lives for a second just isn’t enough.